Manufacturing Burnout
This is the way narcissists use abuse to control you.
I’m sure you’ve heard the term burnout before but did you know it’s officially a medical condition now?
The WHO added it to the ICD-11 in 2019 as a workplace problem.
They have it listed as a condition specific to a job you go to, but I disagree. I want to throw it into the ring as the #1 way that narcissists abuse and are able to wreak havoc on others.
It explains nearly everything that victims go through.
Your Job Is Whatever You Do
Anything can be a job if you want to get technical. It doesn’t have to be something you do to make money. We have many jobs we perform daily.
Carpool valet
Parent
Spouse
House cleaner
Grocery shopper
Dog walker
Confidant
Bill payer
Everything you do can be labeled as a job if you feel like it.
If your partner is a narcissist then you have a heck of a job on your hands. A huge, unsatisfying, all-consuming job that will leave you depleted and burned up from the inside out.
What Is Burnout?
This is what the ICD-11 has listed as the 3 dimensions of burnout:
Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion
Increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job
A sense of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment.
Doesn’t this sound like the inside of a narcissistic relationship?
Replace the word job with: partner, family member, boss, friend, or even religion. You can apply the 3 dimensions to any of these words to understand how it feels to be stuck in an abusive relationship.
I asked Google AI for symptoms of burnout and it gave me this
Symptoms of burnout include:
Feeling depleted of energy or exhausted
Feeling cynical or negative about your job
Having a reduced sense of professional efficacy
Feeling isolated or having antisocial behavioral issues
Having difficulty engaging in activities you normally enjoy
Having a growing sense of hopelessness
Burnout can also lead to physical health issues, such as: Gastrointestinal problems, High blood pressure, Poor immune function, Reoccurring headaches, and Sleep issues.
Some factors that can contribute to burnout include: Being easily stressed, Being a perfectionist, Expecting too much from your job, Withdrawing from coworkers, and Being inflexible.
YUP!!
Everything that happens to you when you have been chronically abused by a narcissist. Your Nervous and Endocrine systems are blown to smithereens and you can’t function properly.
You are changed. Your brain literally changes shape to accommodate the constant stress. Check out this article on the effects of stress on the Hippocampus and the Amygdala. Then look up others. There are hundreds on the topic. To sum them up -> The Hippocampus slows down and the Amygdala ramps up.
To visualize this, think about what happens to muscles. When we don’t use them, they shrink and become weak. When we overuse them, they grow and become stronger.
The Hippocampus is responsible for memory, learning, and mental flexibility. If it has been suppressed because of the stress from narcissistic abuse then how are you supposed to function properly?
The Amygdala is the processing center of the brain. We use it to link things together. It attaches our feelings to memories and makes sense of the world around us. If it is in overdrive from abuse then it can’t perform these vital functions well.
These are just 2 of the many brain and body structures that are changed. Nothing is in isolation. They all touch.
Who wouldn’t have brain fog and confusion with the non-stop stress from narcissistic abuse?
Depression and brain fog are par for the course and become a daily struggle for victims. It seems pretty clear to me. Narcissistic abuse leads to burnout.
How Does A Narcissist Cause Burnout In You?
Chronic invalidation
Emotional instability
The goal post always moving
Undermining
Smear Campaigning
Stalking
Extreme high/lows
Accusations
All the forms of abuse: physical, sexual, financial, psychological, etc…
DARVO
Stonewalling
Cheating
Dog whistling
Future faking
Love bombing
You get the drift. (I know I left plenty off the list.)
A Name Provides A Way Out
Giving what is happening to you a name is a good thing.
You can do something about burnout. Clinicians can test for objective measures. They can provide things that help with symptoms and treat whatever concurrent conditions are associated with it. Leaky gut, adrenal fatigue, hormone imbalances, thyroid issues, glucose intolerance, vitamin deficiencies, etc. All of these can be aided to provide immediate improvement.
The same thing goes for coaching or therapy. If you know what issue you need to work on, you have a better chance of creating goals that are tailored to your issues and then working toward them with more proficiency.
Without a core reason for all of those symptoms, they would be scrambling in the dark trying to figure out what is happening with you. If they knew it was from burnout, that would give them a place to begin.
It gives you a starting point as well.
Recognizing burnout for what it is can be freeing. Pinpointing what caused it is the first step in recovering from it. Since this particular burnout is from narcissistic abuse, removing the influence of the narcissist is the first order of business.
It has the potential to get better from there.
What do you think?
Is burnout a reasonable condition to consider for victims of narcissistic abuse?
