How To Make a “Joy Jar” To Celebrate The Small Wins After Leaving An Abusive Relationship

Little things like this seem so insignificant and often silly. But these are the things that require low effort and have a big impact on our psyche.

I used to think worksheets or activities like making a gratitude list were childish and a waste of time.

But after life coaching for a few years now I have witnessed how transformative these kinds of things are in people’s lives.

They work in a way that was surprising, but when you take the time to think about it, it makes complete sense.

I will attach a worksheet link for a free PDF to the bottom of this post so you can try it out for yourself.

What Is A Joy Jar?

In simple terms, a Joy Jar is anything in your home where you can gather items to signify a win.

I like to recommend a literal jar, or a vase.

The thing you put into the jar can be anything you want. It just needs to be something that you can get relatively easily, isn’t too big, and many of them will fit into your container.

I like to use little sheets of paper so I can I can write down a short description of the thing that went right. For later reading.

Some people like to use money, and then take that cash and use it to buy themselves something purely fun when they have enough.

Any way you want to do it is going to be good for you. And who says that way has to be the only way you do it. Change it as often as you like.

Why Should I Start A Joy Jar?

The reason for doing it is also simple.

When you have been in an abusive relationship, or even after just having a hard time, having a reminder of something going your way is important.

Especially in the beginning, right after you begin your healing work. When things going right are few and far between.

It is very hard to hold onto the sparks of joy that happen every so often when there are a lot of bad things going on more often.

We’re humans. We push forward and move along in the chaos.

The confusion and brain fog that is associated with abuse is real and it steals those moments from us. But they did happen.

A Joy Jar is a reminder that it did. That you weren’t crazy. That good things do still happen to you and you are worth every single one. Give it a try and see how it feels.

The PDF is free and is a worksheet to get you started.

To use it, fill in the jar with some things that remind you that you’re doing a good job. Maybe your child trusted you with a secret? Did a friend tell you they can see a positive change in you? Are you able to sleep through the night without a nightmare? Did you go to the gym 3 days this week? Did you hear a song that used to make you cry and it didn’t affect you?

It can be anything. As long as it meant something to you and brought you a moment of happiness.

Writing down things you can remember that went right for you and brought you happiness inside the jar on the sheet is a good way to build some momentum. Once you get a feel for finding the happiness and being your biggest advocate you may never want to go back to the old way again.

If you need someone to talk to or know someone that does, reach out to me at info@cpresleycoaching.com.