Pictures Remember When We Can’t
This is why physical records (like journaling, selfies, and lists) are important in healing from trauma and abuse.
Abuse and trauma promote brain fog and confusion in your nervous system. The events that took place and the emotions involved during that time are often lost in the flood of hormones and chaos.
How did you feel during the abuse?
Can you picture it clearly?
Do you recall how you reacted in those instances?
What did your body feel like?
What words were looping in your mind?
How often did it happen?
Using physical objects as an anchor can be a huge help once the stress has subsided and the memories begin to settle. One object you can utilize is -> a picture.
Think About How You Feel When You Look Through An Old Photo Album
Have you ever come across a long-forgotten picture from your youth?
It doesn’t matter whether it was a good time or bad, it stirs up feelings we forgot existed. The memories surrounding that time rush back in waves and it becomes easy to recall the people, places, and things that held meaning in the moments surrounding that place in time and space.
As positive as that phenomenon can be, it can be negative if the memories that come flooding back are of trauma and abuse. Sometimes they come at you like a tsunami and you are temporarily washed away in the pandemonium.
The same thing can happen when you look at an old drawing or other artifacts from the past.
Did your kids make you a mug for Father’s Day? A coupon book for your birthday? A Valentine’s Day card at school. An ornament for Christmas? A handprint turkey for Thanksgiving? Have you ever found an award ribbon or trophy your parents kept from your childhood?
Things like this can be time machines. They transport you back.
Not Everyone Can Journal But Everyone Can Do Something
Journaling is a wonderful method for healing and growth… but sometimes it stinks to do it.
I recall that in the first few months of my abuse recovery journey, journaling was avoided like the plague. The moment I opened the journal I would get very sleepy and need to put it down before more than 3 words were written.
Some don’t like to make lists or keep a written (or typed) log of events because they are afraid it will be found. Whatever the reason, the important task of recording the past can still happen with some creativity.
Memories Fade
Once the memories of the abuse move from short-term to long-term, they don’t have the same emotional flavor.
After the hormones have flushed from your system and your heart rate slows, the brain wants you to stop feeling the chaos and pain. When it does this, it dims the light on the events and hides discomfort. It does it so you can keep going.
Brains don’t care if we’re happy. Brains care if we’re alive. It does what it has to do to ensure you are going to keep moving and living for another minute. If it needs to change things so you can live with abuse… it will.
It simply gets the jobs done.
Use Emotional Landmarks To Remind You
If you can’t stand the thought of journaling, then gathering photos or drawing pictures can be a great method of archiving data.
It is essential to have a reminder of the abuse. Journaling and list-making would be the best way since it is easier to describe what happened in them, but any reminder is better than none.
Eventually, your memories will feel like an echo.
Abuse victims question themselves:
Was it really as bad as I think it was?
Did I make it all up?
What exactly happened?
This is when they are in danger of returning to old bad habits of giving second chances and forgiving the unforgivable.
Having the physical prompt of images or words on paper can be a lifesaver.
